Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
