there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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