the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize