Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
