It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
