Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
