He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
this is an emotional support booty call
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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