Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
