My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
