His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
