Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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