Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
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Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
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I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
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