Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.