D3 body, D1 cock
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.