Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight

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  (414): I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight http://tfl.nu/aoch
  Replies (2) Good night (1349) Bad night (567)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on

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  (416): I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on http://tfl.nu/c1eq
  Replies (19) Good night (5308) Bad night (879)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.

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  (781): I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. http://tfl.nu/mkrc
  Replies (98) Good night (1254) Bad night (22290)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.

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  (864): I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me. http://tfl.nu/y5s2
  Replies (30) Good night (5829) Bad night (1170)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five

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  (919): Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool (252): Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five http://tfl.nu/6bci
  Replies (13) Good night (6297) Bad night (969)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"

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  (519): we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault" http://tfl.nu/rtah
  Replies (7) Good night (4749) Bad night (947)
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  (714): View more from California

  Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.

  (562): View more from California

  You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.

  (714): View more from California

  Well someones bitter they didn't get any.

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  (714): Hahaha you puked all over his shirt. (562): You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch. (714): Well someones bitter they didn't get any. http://tfl.nu/4mgl
  Replies (20) Good night (5234) Bad night (1398)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.

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  (920): when life gives you lemons, puke and rally. http://tfl.nu/b13b
  Replies (19) Good night (2839) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.

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  (936): If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way. http://tfl.nu/i55j
  Replies (3) Good night (3339) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation

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  (703): Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation http://tfl.nu/67qo
  Replies (14) Good night (2122) Bad night (670)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.

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  (580): Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward. http://tfl.nu/95e7
  Replies (4) Good night (1572) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.

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  (610): I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands. (908): Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful. http://tfl.nu/kbfw
  Replies (6) Good night (1080) Bad night (866)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...

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  (407): he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet... http://tfl.nu/8m0e
  Replies (4) Good night (488) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Gonna be tough to beat that next year!

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  (508): So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party. (508): Gonna be tough to beat that next year! http://tfl.nu/374f
  Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.

  (407): View more from Florida

  Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.

  (305): View more from Florida

  They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.

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  (305): Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out. (407): Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates. (305): They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize. http://tfl.nu/akvq
  Replies (5) Good night (467) Bad night (342)

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