PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
