First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.