Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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