Non-Jews are for practice
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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