my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
smell my finger.
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Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
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I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
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