Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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