It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
you never un-have a 4some
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
