if only i could text you this smell
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
