He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.