I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
someone threw a dead crab at me
You drinking a lot?
Define a lot
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter