Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  ...there is blood under my fingernails.

  (515): View more from Iowa

  ...I hope my roomates are okay.

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  (515): ...there is blood under my fingernails. (515): ...I hope my roomates are okay. http://tfl.nu/jgvb
  Replies (7) Good night (1029) Bad night (3385)
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  (661): View more from California

  No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.

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  (661): No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer. http://tfl.nu/5zs6
  Replies (44) Good night (4535) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Operation Purity has been aborted

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  (306): Operation Purity has been aborted http://tfl.nu/jf4h
  Replies (24) Good night (6565) Bad night (1317)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school

  (1-914): View more from New York

  oh right the one that ends on your bed

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  (914): i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school (1-914): oh right the one that ends on your bed http://tfl.nu/wrnw
  Replies (8) Good night (6338) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season

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  (978): Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season http://tfl.nu/bvhl
  Replies (4) Good night (2440) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself

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  (818): Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself http://tfl.nu/kb63
  Replies (8) Good night (2748) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.

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  (909): My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up. http://tfl.nu/4jl3
  Replies (5) Good night (2573) Bad night (1484)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested

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  (612): Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested http://tfl.nu/tmq3
  Replies (5) Good night (1747) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.

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  (863): I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious. http://tfl.nu/2u5k
  Replies (5) Good night (2609) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.

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  (289): If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf. http://tfl.nu/kp2h
  Replies (2) Good night (1444) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.

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  (404): So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care. http://tfl.nu/6j38
  Replies (16) Good night (1075) Bad night (1850)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.

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  (905): I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time. http://tfl.nu/shdn
  Replies (13) Good night (581) Bad night (1669)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.

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  (303): Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package. http://tfl.nu/50h2
  Replies (3) Good night (955) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me

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  (519): I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me http://tfl.nu/9pcd
  Replies (2) Good night (267) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.

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  (781): i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops. http://tfl.nu/wb46
  Replies (1) Good night (540) Bad night (231)

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