Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
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I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
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Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus