Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?

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  (703): You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl? http://tfl.nu/mavc
  Replies (75) Good night (3439) Bad night (7196)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.

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  (817): getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned. http://tfl.nu/n40z
  Replies (57) Good night (7371) Bad night (1702)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on

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  (780): She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on http://tfl.nu/l1qo
  Replies (14) Good night (4258) Bad night (686)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer

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  (613): i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer http://tfl.nu/3jhr
  Replies (7) Good night (3862) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.

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  (703): I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going. http://tfl.nu/roti
  Replies (45) Good night (1939) Bad night (4916)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  I feel like you never had a virginity..

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  (806): He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to. (1-806): I feel like you never had a virginity.. http://tfl.nu/77ey
  Replies (10) Good night (3147) Bad night (1199)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again

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  (979): Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again http://tfl.nu/ae74
  Replies (5) Good night (2843) Bad night (850)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.

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  (256): I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now. http://tfl.nu/ogzg
  Replies (2) Good night (794) Bad night (1221)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.

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  (206): Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me. http://tfl.nu/grf1
  Replies (7) Good night (916) Bad night (1389)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Last time i carry you out of a forest

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  (262): Last time i carry you out of a forest http://tfl.nu/h410
  Replies (8) Good night (952) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.

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  (417): Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/mh6q
  Replies (4) Good night (894) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.

  (1-315): View more from New York

  Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha

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  (315): Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe. (1-315): Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha http://tfl.nu/f49v
  Replies (2) Good night (439) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger

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  (248): I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger http://tfl.nu/4bsz
  Replies (8) Good night (563) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you

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  (606): Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you http://tfl.nu/pcwm
  Replies (1) Good night (623) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless

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  (479): Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless http://tfl.nu/hz1n
  Replies (5) Good night (992) Bad night (239)

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