I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
