u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
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K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
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DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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