I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
