I think im going to throw up on grandma
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
