Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
