Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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