I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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