mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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