Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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