I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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