I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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