I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize