finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
