so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize