Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I need to calm my uterus...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
