I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
