you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
