i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I deserve to be covered in dicks
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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