i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
