I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
