just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
