your room smells of hookers.
And success
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i think i have herpe
just one?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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