Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Princesses don't give blow jobs
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
