ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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