a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize