Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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