I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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