Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
