I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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