I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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