I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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