I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
