Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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