You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
