Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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