It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
