why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
