Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
