guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
