jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i need some magic done to my vagina
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
