We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
