I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
